What does it mean to have a son

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This is a thought that I have had since giving birth to Griffin.

When Jonas and I found out that we were pregnant, we both thought that we were having a girl. In fact, we were so absolutely convinced of it, that we didn't even peruse the boy names until much later. We didn't even come up with the name Griffin until the very last weeks of my pregnancy, and that was because we thought we better have a boy name handy, just in case. But during the whole nine months, we kept calling Griffin a 'she', and painstakingly tried to find the perfect name for 'her'.

When the nurse announced "It's a boy!" Jonas and I were in complete shock (we didn't talk about this until weeks later). It wasn't that we didn't want a boy. Obviously being a healthy baby is what mattered most. We just couldn't believe how wrong we were!

After we brought Griffin home, and the dust started to settle a bit, I admittedly had to get used to the idea of having a little man. For some reason, I was worried about what to do with a little boy once he is older. I had this strange preconceived notion that boys do not want to be around their mothers as much as little girls do. And I was worried about silly things- who would I take shopping for their back to school clothes? Surely, when Griffin is a teenager, he is not going to want to do this with his mother and appear 'uncool'.

But over time, I realized how completely silly my thoughts were. As the days go by, I am bonding more and more with my son. He looks at me with so much adoration, and smiles at me a million times a day. He is comforted in the crook of my arm. And when he sleeps next to me, I always see his contented smile, as we are only an inch away from each others faces.

And as the days go by, I see his daddy's resemblance in him more and more. Some people say he is starting to look like me now, but I still think he is Jonas' clone. Then I get excited by the prospect of having another man in the house, who I hope will be like his father in every way. I look forward to taking Griffin to the beach, hiking, camping, and introducing him to dragon boating when he is older. And so I won't be having any 'tea parties' with him, or going wedding dress shopping. But I would not have it any other way, and I can't wait to see what kind of man he will turn out to be.