Looking To The Future

As I have been faced with writer's block lately, I realized the reason why is because I have been quite pensive. We are coming up to Griffin's six month birthday shortly, and my mind has been turning towards the future once again. For the past six months, I have been mainly living day-by-day. As a new parent, this was the easiest way for me to exist, as I knew thinking about the future would give me far too much anxiety- anxiety that I really could not handle in my sleep-deprived state while dealing with a newborn.

But now my attention is twoards looking for child care for when I return to work, all the things I want to accomplish in my/our life before returning, and where are we going to live??? That dreaded question coming up once again! Last summer, we decided to stay where we are to avoid any unnecessary stress. But the time has come again for us to look into this and make some decisions.

I've also been thinking about Griffin's first birthday, and what should we do on his special day? Yes, I realize that it is way too soon to some people to be thinking of this, but as I said, I've really been quite pensive lately!

And speaking of work, I have already been experiencing some back-to-work anxiety about leaving Griffin's side for the whole day. I know that in order for me to prepare for that day, I really need to start mentally preparing NOW. I am not looking forward to leaving my boy all day long at all. In fact, to date, I have not even left him alone with anybody for longer than an hour, so it's going to be really challenging for me to be able to leave him for over 8 hours. I don't expect that this will be easy, but it is necessary.

But for now, as I work these things out, I will continue to relish in my maternity leave and enjoy my time off. It has been very special so far, and I realize that it is a once-in-a-lifetime moment.