Delivery Day

It has been a wee bit since my last post. As most people know, I delivered our beautiful baby boy, Griffin James Ng on September 9th in the early hours of the morning, 1:49 am to be exact. Looking at my previous entry, it appears that I had a premonition about my early delivery. Even though I may have had an inkling, I think that Jonas and I were in no way prepared that the day would come so quickly.

I started experiencing pre-labour symptoms on September 8th at 4:30 am. I quickly told Jonas, who immediately started putting our things in our overnight bag that we had prepped a day earlier. I decided that we had time, so we monitored the situation. But in my heart, I knew that delivery day was coming upon us very quickly. I had not even finished work yet, I had one more week left. But with my contractions coming at 20 minutes apart, I had Jonas drive me to work that morning anyways, so I could pick up my laptop and try to finish off some last-minute things. Everything that day was such a blur, that I can't even tell you exactly what happened. We wanted to go to the hospital, but we were worried about being sent home. By noon, we decided to call the hospital anyways, as I was experiencing more symptoms. They told us to come down so they could place me under assessment. I was in complete shock to hear that by 2:00 pm, I was already 3 cm dilated. By 5:00 pm, I was already 5 cm dilated. The contractions were coming closer together, but still manageable. And then everything changed. I was stuck at 7 cm, but was told by a nurse that I was much farther along than I really was. Because she told me this, I held off on the drugs, which was a HUGE mistake on my part. I should have taken the epidural once I was 5 cm dilated. The next four hours of my life were scary, and delirious and I owe everything to Jonas. He was a huge support unit, and I can't even begin to imagine how he must have felt, watching me in pain. I asked for an epidural, and had to wait 30 minutes for an anesthesiologist to arrive. It kicked in almost immediately, and then I started to feel zen. Seventeen hours later, from the first moments of when my labour started, we were told that we had a beautiful baby boy. My heart swelled, and the surreal feeling lasted for days. Even a week later, it still feels surreal. Every minute with my baby feels like a dream. Whenever I stare down at his little face, all I can think of is 'wow, he is really ours now!' This little person was inside me just over a week ago! And he already seems like he has such a little personality. Physically, he is completely Jonas. I do not see any resemblances to me at all, he is 100% his father's son. However, he may have a bit of my personality. We can see that he is very strong willed, determined, and has the capacity to get annoyed when bugged. He also gets this little furrow on his forehead whenever it seems like he is pissed about something and he will pout. I know we shouldn't laugh at that, but we think it is just the absolute cutest!

As he was born 2 1/2 weeks early, and at the weight of only 5 lbs, and 14 oz's, I feel particularly protective of him. Once he was born, he was placed in NICU for four days, due to all of the stress from the labour, and all I wanted to do was take away any pain that he had. It is completely heartbreaking to see your child in ICU, but we were told that babies can feel parents anxiety, so I had to try to keep that in check. Throughout all of this, Jonas and I seem to have grown up immediately, and overnight. And this has brought us closer together and stronger. This week has been both beautiful, but also the most stressful week I have ever had in my life, completely fraught with emotion of worrying over our little guy. I am experiencing first hand how it feels to be a parent now. All I care about is making sure Griffin will always feel loved and safe by us, and keeping him healthy.

Now that I have had the baby, I am not sure who is continuing to read this, or will continue to read this. I will keep updating this blog with Griffin's progress. I appreciate those that have chosen to follow this journey in life with me. It truly has been a blessing and miracle, and I am looking forward to the next stages now.