Working Girl

It's been an almost full working week, and we may be able to start breathing a little easier. The first day was the toughest by far. So much anxiety about so many things. But we got through it and it's only been easier as each day has gone by. It's funny how old/new routines can feel so familiar. On my way in to work on Monday, it really didn't seem any different than it did the last time I rode in over a year ago. I expected to feel a bit out of sorts, but it really felt quite comfortable.

As for things at home, you could not be any happier. You LOVE being with Daddy all day. In fact, even when I come home after being away for 8 hours, you STILL want to be with Daddy! I try not to take this personally, because a large part of me is quite relieved that you are not crying for me all day long. In fact, it has been just the opposite. Every morning when I kiss you good-bye, you just give me a little smile and wave. And when I return home, you just give me a look as if you are saying 'oh, it's you.'

Daddy, for his part, is doing a PHENOMINAL job. And I mean PHE-NOM-I-NAL. You have had many bouts of crankiness this week, all of which Daddy handled expertly. And he has stayed with your routine and schedule. With all of the changes this week, this was something very important to both of us- to not have your daily routine disturbed. So you get to eat all of the same foods that you like, you get your bottles around the same time, and Daddy takes you to all of your play groups. And may I add, there are always tons of other Daddy's there, so this whole 'Daddy child-care' thing really seems to be taking off in other families too.

By far, the most stressful time is between 5 and 7 pm. It's a bit of chaos in our house. I literally run home and it's dinner time, followed by clean up time, followed by bath time, nebulizer time and then bed time. I always wish I had a little more time with you, but you get tired between 7 and 7:30. And I would much rather you get your sleep than selfishly keeping you awake.

There are a whole whack of emotions and feelings this week for me. I loved returning to work. But there is also a lot of guilt attached to it as well. I wished I could divide my day completely in half- half the day for work, and the other half devoted to you. But it is not a reality right now, so I must make the best out of the situation.

I do have an overwhelming sense of pride, and have quite often thought to myself this week "wow, I'm really doing it all! I'm managing to have a career, a family and co-run a household'. Obviously, many, many households are exactly like ours. But there really is a deep sense of accomplishment when you know you can do these things. And these were all the things that were a part of the bigger picture for me in life, big goals of mine that are now turned into a reality.